By DAN LANGFORD

Many Southerners drop lots of their R’s in speaking.  Hollywood, in portraying Southerners, never seems to get this right, a fact brought to my awareness in my recent viewing of two old movies — JFK and Forrest Gump.  In the former, the show’s star character, New Orleans D.A. Jim Garrison, is continually referred to as “Mistuh Gahhison,” or some abomination like that.  The “Mistuh” part is fine, but the butchery of the surname is unconscionable. In the latter movie, the main character is referred to again and again as “Fahhest” or “Fawest,” both of which are ludicrous.  Both words are pronounced just as they are spelled — Garrison and Forrest.

Simply put, we don’t drop R’s that begin words, those that follow most consonants (such as in “ludicrous” and “travel”), or those upon which syllable changes hinge.  Most if not all other R’s get dropped by those who are R-droppers.  Robert might be “Robuht,” Martha might be “Mahtha,” were is often “wuh,” cedar is usually “ceduh,” and Hardy might be “Hahdy.”  Harry, just one letter different, is always “Harry.”  That’s the catch Hollywood can’t seem to get right.

Here’s a phonetically-written sentence that may help illustrate the difference:

Pita (Peter) Harrison and Morris Hahcoat (Harcourt) wuh (were) half-brothuhs (brothers), who had the same muthuh (mother), but different fahthahs (fathers).

The R’s in “Harrison,” “Morris,” and “different” are all necessary — the others (othuhs) are (ah) not, and are often dropped.  Hollywood would have us saying “Ha-isson,” “Ma-iss,” and “diffent,” which is nothing more than carnage visited upon our lilting manner of speech.

By DAN LANGFORD

I was talking to my 91-year-old uncle the other day when he told me he had misplaced his eyeglasses and like to have never found them. I don’t know how folks might express that in other parts of the country, but it surely sounds Southern to me. “Like to have never” just has a sort of emphasis and relief in it that “almost didn’t,” for example, doesn’t have.

It may have taken me a while, for example, to replace the belt on my lawnmower; but if I say “I like to have never gotten that belt replaced,” I imply a tremendous effort followed by an immense sense of relief at my accomplishment.

I like to have never learned how to use certain aspects of technology, but I’m tickled that I did because it allows me to communicate with fine folks like you.

Dan Langford

By DAN LANGFORD

This word sounds like a term in connection with a debt instrument. In the South, we use it to mean “inclined or prone to do something that’s usually, but not always adverse.” It’s pronounced LYE-bel, and the following sentences illustrate its usage: “You’d better leave that dog alone. It’s liable to jump up and bite you.” Or, “Mama’s liable to cuss the paint off a wall since she’s gotten Alzheimer’s.” Or, “If you keep readin’ this blog, you’re liable to pick up a Southern phrase or two.”